Wah... Didn't realise I have yet to blog for a month. Hmm... Guess there must be nothing happening in my life and it explains for the total lack of updates.

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Anyway... work... Finally settling down. I guess I always screw it up when I have no confidence. Sometimes, I wonder why did I make silly decisions or rather did not make any decisive decisions? Thinking back, I always know what to do. I think I should just build up on my confidence level and just 'whack'. At least, I tried right. Keke. Took my certification after procrastinating for weeks. I think I am the last to go for the certification and the MOST amazing thing is I passed!!! Seriously, I would have failed myself. My tester is so nice to 'fang shui' loh. Haha.

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Other than work, been busy with moving house. Not really that busy physically cause Darl did almost everything but I guess it is an emotionally draining period for me now. I think I am so desperately trying to be in control that I can feel I am losing control of myself. Literally losing control of myself emotionally and mentally. Basically, I am stretched mentally and emotionally, so much that I hate my life to the core. I hate my life so much that I feel like crying when I think of my life. I hate it so much that I hate to come home. Though I do not really enjoy working (I do not hate my work but given a choice, who wants to work right?), I find more peace at work than home. Strange right? Especially now that we finally have our own place?

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I just need a break. A break from everything and everybody. Just let me lead the life I want. Let me arrange the things in the way I want. Let me decide the whereabouts of my kids. Let me decide when can I bring Belle home. I hate to be led by others' happenings. My life does not revolve around you all. Whatever you want to do is none of my business. I have no obligation towards anyone, maybe maybe towards Darl and my girls only.

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Maybe Darl is right. I brought all these upon myself. So what to do? Suck it up and be miserable for the rest of my life. My life sucks to the max.

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I need a hiding place, to hide till my life is not sucky anymore.

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Besides all the sucky stuff, I look forward to lunch hour. Haha. Nah, I am not lunching out. Enough of asking my colleagues out for lunch cause majority of them lunch in and those lunching out are so impromptu? Anyway, I find a source of entertainment. TUDOU!!!! Yeah!!! I have watched 'The Ugly Truth', 'The Karate Kid' and 'When in Rome'. Keke. Not forgetting I finished one Taiwan drama starring Jerry Yan and am on his 2nd drama.

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Haven been gaga over some idol for a long time or rather, have never been. Though I worship Wang Lee Hom, I was never that crazily into his looks. I just love his songs and his unique voice.

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BUT Jerry Yan is so cute! I like his stern look and I love his smiles. My heart melts when he smiles, the smiles cracked secretly behind an angry face or behind the girl he likes. *Melts*

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